Baby Got BACK!...

I got a phone call from Chloe a little while ago, she said he company last night, and guess what? it wasn't with the YOUNGIN either. She's decided to take on INTERNET DATING. 0_o I know right? What a bummer. lmao. Anyways she invited this guy over to her house, to watch movies and whatever else she had in mind. So I'm listening to her go on and on, and she says "there's one thing about him that i don't like". So i said, "and what's that"? she says "he has a fat ass". Yuck! your dating a guy that has junk in his trunk? you mean too tell me he has a rump shaker? All i could think about was that episode of girlfriends when Joan was dating the guy that wore the "man girdle". I'm sorry it doesn't matter how good looking a man is, If his ass is bigger than mine, i can't deal. A man with a nice plumped ass, leads me to believe he's getting plunged in his ass. Which is great for those that like that, I just don't like it. A man should not have a FAT ASS. I told her that's a deal breaker, and lose his damn number.

The Pumkin EATER!

My friend Rico is the ULTIMATE ladies man. I don't think there's a woman out there who's ever turned him down. He's a well groomed guy, and extremely handsome. He can charm the panties off OF ANY WOMAN. I've seen him in action, and he's GOOD. I ask him all the time how does he get away with all the shit he does? his response was, it's easy. He weens them in by telling them how good he can eat their cooch, and they fall for that shit.We would be in the club, and he would go missing, because he' in the parking lot banging some chic out in the backseat of the car. You can't even get mad at him though, he's just doing what these chics allow him too do. The worst part about it is he's a married man. He has a great wife, and yet he still cheats. I asked him why isn't he honest with these woman?. Alot of woman don't mind dealing with a married man. One day he's going to come across the wrong woman, and she's going to give it to his ass, but i ain't the one too gossip so you didn't hear it from me. Lmao

Don't "SAY" Nothing Else!

Have you ever met someone that was just ALL THAT?. Just looking at them from the outside you was in awwwwwww. They were just so dreamy (good looking). Until they opened their fucking mouth, and started talking. You find yourself looking around like what the hell is that smell?  You even go as far as checking the bottom of your shoe thinking your stepped in shit. lol, but then you realize that it's coming from his/her mouth. How can someone who is so good looking have such bad breath.? I'm not talking about stinky breath that a piece of gum can take care of. I'm talking about STANK BREATH.  The kind of breath that will bring tears to your eyes. That funky ass CHITTERLINGS BREATH. What do you do when you meet someone like this huh? I guess it's all of what you can tolerate. Me personally i can't get passed that. I would rather have a man with ONE BALL, or missing fingers. I just can't do the KISS OF DEATH..lmao

The Mother Daughter Rivalry..

Every mother experiences that mother daughter rivalry with their daughter. It's a damn shame what us mothers have to go through sometimes. I have a 19 year old daughter who swears up and down that she knows more than me. Sometimes i just want to knock the hell out of her, just for saying some of the shit that comes out of her mouth, but i have too remind myself that she's just a teenager and she's clueless about life. Every guy she dates is "THE ONE".  She once dated a guy who played football (High school) and he was really good. She convinced herself that he was going to the Pro's and they were getting married after high school 0_o #nobueno. When i told her that it may not turn out like that, she thought i was just saying evil things, and i wasn't happy for her. REALLY? She was in the 10th GRADE. What the hell? Anyway He's currently living at home with his mother with no football contract. lol. Then there was Mike. I really liked mike he was a hard worker. He was never late to McDonald's always on time, just an all around great kid. Now i was hoping that they would grow old together, but sadly she dumped him. I was devasted. I guess it was for the best though because now he's currently doing 20years in prison for armed robbery.0_o This girl has put me through the ringer. I'll never forget i was in the mall shopping, and i got a phone call from my girlfriend Olivia. She said your daughter was arrested for shoplifting. I was so shocked. I could't believe this little bitch.(excuse my french)  She just so happen to be in the same mall i was shopping at how embarrising. I went to Kohl's where she was detained for stealing accessories.  YES ACCESSORIES i am the queen of ACCESSORIES. I told them to lock her ass up, and i left because i had a birthday party to attend. I wanted to teach her ass a lesson. Boy did she cry, but off to the slammer she went. Maybe she's still angry at me, that's why till this day she finds new ways to make me beyond mad. Lmao! But i love her to death.:)

Sex, Love, & Relationships: She's a HIMAHOLIC....

Sex, Love, & Relationships: She's a HIMAHOLIC....: She's a himaholic, That's the only way i can describe my girlfriend Chloe. She been dealing with a guy on and off for almost 3 years. When i...

She's a HIMAHOLIC....

She's a himaholic, That's the only way i can describe my girlfriend Chloe. She been dealing with a guy on and off for almost 3 years. When i tell you she's addicted to this man. No matter what he does she just can't seem to leave his young ass alone. Even when she tells me she's not dealing with him anymore, i know better then to believe her. That youngin puts it down on her ass. The way that she describes their sex life,  it's like he's the ultimate LYON in the bedroom.lol.  Have you ever dealt with someone that was to fucking TOXIC, But you just couldn't stop fucking with he/she? I know i have. I'm telling you a woman will put up with a little extra BS if your have "GRADE A DICK". That's something that you just don't give up. This youngin has been the only dude that I've EVER seen her do back flips for. At on point i thought she was LOSING HER FUCKING MIND. As of today she says she's not dealing with him, but it's only a matter of time before he makes his way over to her new place, and fucks the shit out of her..lmao

Sex, Love, & Relationships: Parenting 101

Sex, Love, & Relationships: Parenting 101: At 7 years old my son Nate already has an image of what a girl should be like. He actually told me that girls don't pass gas. My response t...

Parenting 101

At 7 years old my son  Nate already has an image of what a girl should be like. He actually told me that girls don't pass gas. My response to him was, Son yes they do, boys and girls pass gas. He looked so puzzled and said, "But mom their not suppose too". Smh i said " Nate if they don't pass gas they will either die or have stinky breath." It's a must that we all PASS GAS.( Fart, Poot) whatever you want too call it. It's important that i teach my son that a woman can do just about everything that a man can do. I don't want him to grow up thinking that a woman doesn't pass gas, and then later down the line his girlfriend farts and he leaves her. lol I don't think i could ever forgive myself. Parents please inform your kids on what goes on in today's world lol:) Parenting 101

Death to the TALKING COOCH.

Ladies ladies ladies. I'm not sure how some of y'all feel about this question, but I'm sure you had to wonder why this shit happens. OK don't you just HATE IT, when your getting your swerve on (fucking) and your cooch just starts farting? It never smells like anything, but it's SO FUCKING ANNOYING. I mean there you are all into it, and all of a sudden your cooch starts sounding like a fucking machine gun. 0_o. What is that about? Is it an air bubble that gets trapped in your cooch or what? Every time i go to my OB/GYN i always wanna ask my Dr., but i can never get up the nerve. I wouldn't even know how to word that lol. I think guys like it when your cooch makes all kinds of crazy sounds, but i for one HATE IT. Death to the talking cooch. What i find even more disturbing is when your done fucking, your cooch then sounds like an old car that makes that putt putt noise when it you cut it off. I wonder if i can google this shit. lmao silly me. I once heard a song by R. Kelly called Pussy Cry 0_o i gues that's what it is. The Cooch Cry!

The Biggest Lie TOLD...

Do you wanna know what the BIGGEST LIE EVER TOLD?....It's a lie within it's self, and so many of us tell this lie quite often. Are you familiar with this phrase? "Just tell me the truth, and I promise i won't get mad". Just think about it for a second..... OK so if you ask your mate if their cheating, and they insist that their not, but you know for a FACT they are. The conversation goes a little bit like this. Sean, I know your fucking with that bitch, why can't you just come clean for once what the fuck? Look just tell me the damn truth. I promise you i won't get mad. Sean's response: Alright damn we hung out, but it was only one time. Your response: "Oh hell no" We are fucking over, done , finito, You fucking bastard, how could you? Sean's response: See i knew you was gonna get mad. Your response: Get the fuck out my face, and go be with that Nasty Bitch. Now you take off running to the closet, grabbing his shit, breaking shit, foaming out the damn mouth. Just acting a damn fool. You can't help but get mad, because now your feelings are hurt. See sometimes we don't wanna hear the truth even though WE ASK FOR IT..lol

The Nerve of this kid!

Earlier today i was in the kitchen drinking a glass of soda, and my 7yr old son Nathaniel asked me for something to drink. Now i didn't drink all of my soda, so i just poured a little more in the glass and gave it to him. He looked at me with a sad face, so i said  "what's wrong Nate"?. This little boy had the nerve too say "i don't want that soda because it's already been used." He refused to drink out of my glass. I got so mad at him and said " I am your mother, You can drink out of my glass", But you are too NEVER EVER DRINK after your Father 0_o. I had to stop and ask myself  is this little boy is reading my blog, and now thinks his mom is a super freak.? I tell you kids say the craziest shit these days!.

What's your REASON?

Can you ever justify physically cheating on someone? When your about too cheat do you ever stop to think about how it will affect your partner? I'm sure you don't lol. Cheating has to be the ultimate betrayal in a realtionship. Woman cheat just as much as men do these days, but for different reasons. When a woman cheats it's because, most of the time there is an emotional disconnection from their partner. Men cheat because they either are not getting what they want from their partner (most of the time sexually), Or they just feel the need to be greedy and they don't need a reason. No reason is better than the other, it's all wrong in my eyes. Every relationships has it's ups and down, but if you find yourself constantly stepping out on your partner then why stay? It's so easy to cheat these days, because temptation is EVERYWHERE. It takes a STRONG person to be "FAITHFUL", and not just in a realtionship, but in EVERY THING THAT YOU DO. I was always told that all men cheat. That's something that i will never believe. That would be like accepting the fact that all men are the same, and from past relationships i know that's not true. What i find to be funny, but not really "FUNNY" is when you hear a guy say, "BUT IT DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING". 0_o<--------- . When you find yourself about to CHEAT just close your eyes, and think of that FAVORITE thing your partner does to you sexually that LOVE...Keep that Visual for 5 seconds..1, 2, 3, 4, 5. NOW PICTURE THEM DOING THAT TOO SOMEONE ELSE THEN COMING HOME AND KISSING YOU IN THE MOUTH LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED... I bet Your probably sick to your stomach just thinking about it. If your partner is sitting next to you right now, your probably looking at them with such disgust, But only a cheater would feel disgusted, and that's real. Check yourself.:)

It's just ME!...

I didn't want my blog to be about celebrities. It seems like most of the blogs i read are trash talking the celebrities. I really don't care to know about Beyonce and Jayz's personal life, Or any other celebrity for that matter. Don't get me wrong i don't dislike celebrities or anything, i just feel like me knowing their every move is kind of pointless, because I'm not in that circle.lol I chose to blog about my life, my friends, and just different things in life we might experience. I'm 35 and I've had a very interesting life so far, if i must say so myself. I've had my ups and downs, highs and lows, the good, the bad, and the extremely ugly lol. I'd like too say I've been blessed with the GIFT OF GAB, but I always been outspoken (a gift and a curse)..Through out this blog you'll get a better understanding of who i am. I'll introduce my family, friends, and my "frenemies"..lol. As much as i enjoy talking to you, i hope you'll enjoy reading my posts. Life is a journey and mine has been amazing so far. So lets just sit back and enjoy the ride, AND DON'T FORGET TO LAUGH....xoxo:)

Pleasing Her Too..:)

I speak quite openly about how a woman should please her man, and pleasing your partner shouldn't be looked at as a favor. What happens though when a man is not doing his part? Woman are emotional creatures by nature. We feel EVERY EMOTION. Men not so much lol. Fellas You can Dick your woman down everyday, but if your not making her feel like "She's the one and ONLY one, your sexual actions are pointless. Your probably reading this and saying "what the hell"? lol, but its true. I mean how do you show your woman that you appreciate her? Do you even tell her that you appreciate her? I used to date this guy, and he was always on the go. He was a business man his life revolved around his job. Even though we saw each other EVERYDAY, it was never that quality time that i wanted. He would always "BUY" me big gifts, To kinda like make up for the quality time and after a while that got old, because i still felt that emptiness. I wanted his time, something that money couldn't buy. he missed the punchline all the time, and that drove me to look elsewhere. See it's not always about sex with woman. What ever we are lacking in our relationship we'll start too look elsewhere to get it. I know this goes both ways, but for woman its different trust me. For example: If your not complimenting your woman, guess what there's a man out there that is. If your not SEXUALLY PLEASING HER, guess what there's a man out there that's going too DICK HER DOWN so good, she won't have a DESIRE too sleep with you anymore. What happened in my situation i didn't cheat on him physically, but emotionally i did and that's just as bad, and the reason i say that is because Mental Stimulation is the best stimulation. Once a man stimulates a woman's mind it's pretty much the icing on the cake. So fellas if you don't know, now ya know..:)

Prudey Pants....

So i get a phone call from Mrs. Dale MCcoy. (MY MOTHER) Being the parent that she is, She's so mortified about the things i blog about. LOL I asked her did she read the entire blog, and her response was, My god i couldn't get passed the slobbing the knob entry. I just laughed and said " you don't slob your husbands knob? Geesh what a prude. She went on to say that she thinks i moved to Atlanta and lost my mind. 0_o well maybe I'm a little off, but i told her i blog about my life, and she should want to know what I'm doing right? I guess as a parent it can be a bit much reading about your child's sex life, all that sucking and fucking could get to you. I told her she shouldn't knock until she tries it...Just joking i didn't say that shit to her. She's just old fashion, and probably doesn't do anything out side of missionary. Sucks too be her right? For her birthday I'm sending her some porn DVDS, and the best Dildo money can buy. I have to bring her up too SPEED, because my god she's so stuck in the STONE AGE..lol, But i love Mrs. "PRUDEY PANTS" to death.

From Lust To LOVE..

I had the most interesting convo this morning with my good girlfriend Olivia. I've know this girl for 8years, and through out all these years I've seen her deal with a few dudes, but "NONE" of them was she ever was serious about. I was beginning too think that she had a bullet proof heart. She would call me and say "Girl I'm IN LOVE". I met this guy and he's all that, and i would get so excited and saying yes she finally found love. A few days later she would say "Girl i ain't feeling him anymore". I mean i don't think she liked a guy for more then 7 days. I swear it was like after the 7th day they EXPIRED.  You hear about guys using women for sex ALL THE TIME, But hardly do you ever hear of women using men for sex. Olivia was cold with it, after she got what she wanted, they had too leave. NO spending the night, and they better not so much as even ask for something to drink afterwards. That might get you cussed out..lol. She continued down this path for years, and i would always say to myself, damn does she not want too be in love? Recently things have changed for her. She's been dating the same man for 3 months. I'm so proud of her. this man who i will refer too as "KING DING DONG" is everything that SHE'S NOT USED TOO. A man with some substance, and she craves him. I sometimes have to encourage her to just let go and trust the unknown. I told her Don't worry about what you think he "MIGHT" be doing. I said you slobbing his knob right? she said yes. You fucking him real good right? she said "girl yes". And last but not least when you finish fucking do you offer him glass of KOOLAID? She said "HELL YEAH". Well bitch you in there then. You offered him a glass of "koolaid, so i know it's real. LMAO

I Love TOO :)

My girlfriends always look to me for advice on relationships, and i have no clue why?. Clearly i suck at relationships. I know the do's and the don'ts, but the truth is i have a hard time applying them too my own relationships. They've always said i was a MAN EATER lol. Not true at all. I'm just a control freak who, at one point refused to show my true feelings. In my eyes it was like showing a sign of weakness. I try too always give them the best advice as possible. Sometimes My advice is not always needed, but my ears are always there too listen, and my heart is there too encourage and give big hugs when needed. I absolutely Love the idea of being dressed up in LOVE.  TO LOVE, AND BE LOVED IS A BEAUTIFUL THING..We should all want to grow into LOVE with someone, and STAY IN LOVE..:)

Sex with an ex?

How many of us have had an ex that could put it down in the bedroom? I bet alot of y'all are reading this and saying to yourself "HELL YEAH". If they wasn't good at anything else, you know they could make you climb the fucking walls in the bedroom, A guaranteed good fuck. I bet a few of you are having a flash back right now, and the only thing that's stopping you from calling Him/Her right now, is the person your currently fucking. I bet if you knew you could do it and get away with it YOU WOULD lol. Hmmmmm *side eye* :) Some Ex's are just "TOO DAMN CRAZY" to throw an occasional fuck, the consequences could be terrible. So while your reading this contemplating weather you should make that phone call, just know I'm behind a computer writing this (safe and sound). Please don't let these words get your windows busted out, tires slashed, or clothes burnt the fuck up...lmao I will not be held responsible.

Who cut the cheese?..

So i once dated this guy, and I'm telling you i tried to be the perfect woman around him. One night after a night out we went back to his house, and at the time i wasn't comfortable spending the night. So after we would do what we do (sexing) i would just leave, But one night i dozed off, and i fucking fart farted in my sleep. I mean the fart was so loud that it woke me up, and when i woke up he was just laying there staring at me. He didn't say nothing, but i was mortified. I thought i had my butt cheeks on lock that night. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Holding your ass cheeks so tight till the urge to fart goes away.  That night i wasn't successful though, because that fart sure crept out, and it sounded like god damn thunder., But hey don't judge me..lmao. We got pass the storm :)

What the hell happened?

Damn my life has changed so much in the last year. I always had something too do on a Friday night, hell i had something to do EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK. My guy friends used too tell me that i partied to much, but hell i was just enjoying life. Shit as of today my Fridays consist of sitting at home watching Sesame Street, & Blues Clues. SMH. I can see how some moms become alcoholics, trust me it's not hard. It's almost 2am and we're both up looking crazy (me & my son that is). Can't even get my swerve on, because my sons "oh shit their fucking radar will go off".! Oh well hopefully my good friend Nadia will have a great sexscapade to tell me about in the am...lmao. I guess I'll have me a shot, and take my ass too bed. #nightynight

What's a girl too do?

OK so i have this friend named Nadia who lives a great life. She has the best of EVERYTHING. Nadia is on the verge of living a double life. She in currently involved with someone who she's been with for quite some time, But someone else has gotten her attention lately. She has no clue what too do. The man that she lusts for is "fine as fuck". A chocolate brother with a "GREAT JOB",  has some business about himself, and a big THANG THANG. Did i mention he had a great job? lol. Anyways she asked me what should she do? I simply looked at her and said "Bitch if you don't leave that loser ass man you got, we can no longer be friends". I'm just joking, but on a serious tip what do you do when the person you once were head over heals for takes a back seat. It's so easy to fall in love with someone.  What i find challenging is STAYING IN LOVE.:)  Hmmmmm i wonder if she's gonna take my advice tho? Or better yet i wonder if she's gonna throw Mr. Wonderful a Fuck? In other words give him some cooch..lol #staytuned

The Morning Rush.

Don't you just hate when your trying to get laid in the am, and your kids either start crying, or if you have a kid like mines, he'll buss through the damn door. I swear i think kids come with some kind of "OH shit", I think their fucking radar. I hate RUSHED SEX.. The type of sex where your fucking like jack rabbits, because you know at any giving moment, someone is going to interrupt. It never fails as soon as i drop my panties, someone is knocking on my door asking for a bowl of cereal. what is wrong with kids these days? #norespectatall..

No Seriously!

Yesterday i was outside with my kids, and my neighbor came up to me and asked me what color was my hair? I told her it was CHERRY FLAVOR. She look at me like 0_o and said who is that made by?  And i looked at her like 0_o..Ummmmmm it's cherry koolaid Lady. You know the packets you get in the grocery store too make sugar diabetes.? I thought she would of known that considering i had koolaid running down my damn face , because it was so damn hot outside. I swear people just don't use common sense these days...smh

#nobueno

Your finger is not a BUTT PLUG FOR MY ASS...#andthatisall

What makes you so special???

OK so you think your so special, because he cheated on his wife with you? No bitch your not special, your just dumb as hell. How can you expect to have a monogamous relationship with a bonified cheater. Hello!!! he cheated on his wife for some extra pussy. So when you look at yourself in the mirror, just think of your self as a extra character in a movie...Your not the "MAIN" character your an "EXTRA" SOMEONE that's there AS NEEDED.. Just because your friendly with your cooch doesn't make you special. When you know better you do better and that's a #fact. this is dedicated to all the "EXTRA'S" that are waiting to sleep with all the married men THIS ALL STAR WEEKEND.. And remember sharing is not ALWAYS CARING..lmao

How many is toooo many?

 Has your partner ever asked you how many people have you slept with? If you know your list is down the street and around the corner, do you lie about how many, or do you be honest? How could you look your partner in the face and tell him/or her that you've slept with half the town? I once knew this chic who was a bonified hoe, i mean she was the type of female that you couldn't leave your man around. within a 2 month time frame i seen her sleep with at least 10 men. She would become so outraged after she gave up the cooch, because these dudes wouldn't even call her after it was all said and done. I know they say "SHARING IS CARING", but you shouldn't share your cooch with everybody ladies, and you NEVER want a guy to refer to your cooch as GARBAGE TRUCK JUICE..#nobueno To make a long story short, if you know you've been around, i suggest you take that to your grave.lol #ijs

She doesn't "Indulge" in the "Bulge"

My good girlfriend is not a big fan of giving oral sex, and i don't know why?. Every time we have a discussion about oral sex, (giving that is)  she gets so grossed out. I try to tell her that if she doesn't start slobbing the knob she's gonna end up one old and lonely lady. I mean lets face it ORAL SEX is mandatory for men ladies. Now I'm not saying that you should SLOB EVERY KNOB, but i definitely encourage that if your in a exclusive relationship, you should indulge in the bulge. Sometimes she looks at me in such disgust when i talk about it lol, that she actually makes me feel like I'm some kinda sick freak. I mean I'm no sex Dr. or nothing, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist too know that if your not Slobbing The Knob at least 2xs a week, somebody else is. I think that every woman should wanna master the art of slobbing the knob, it's too your benefit that you do lol. Now granted there's somebody for everybody, But you'll end up with a nobody if your what???...... NOT SLOBBING THE KNOB......#i j s

Richer is not always bettter...

They say that if you date a man that makes six figures or more chances are your sharing him. I once dated a guy who was a real estate guru, and i could honestly say he was a millionaire. This man had the best of everything and he made sure that i did as well. He wasn't the best looking man, but his money spoke volumes. We dated for 2 years and i thought i was in love with him, But what i didn't know was that he was keeping a very dark secret. He was with me everyday which made me believe that i was the only woman in his life. However one night he spent the night and left his wallet, so i decided to go through it. There was a bank deposit slip that had a address on it that i wasn't aware of. I decided to go to the unknown address and i knocked on the door. A woman answers the door holding a new born baby, and i asked if Elliott was there?. She says no, and i said well can you tell him his girlfriend came by. She says well I'm his girlfriend of 5 years and this is our baby. At that very moment i felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I couldn't believe that this man that I was in love with could have done this too me. Needless to say we are no longer together, but i  had to asked myself how did he pull this off?, and the answer was clear as day, because he could AFFORD IT..Richer is not always better..

To Lock Or Unlock?

When in a relationship is it okay too keep your phone locked? Some people tend to think that if you keep your phone locked it means that you have something too hide. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are hiding something. Some people are just private people and don't wish too share everything with their partner. I myself have been guilty of snooping through my mans phone, and it wasn't until recently that i realized there was no need. We all know that whats done in the dark always come to light so why bother snooping?.  Sometimes our curiosity and or insecurities can get the best of us.

Is it ever okay to have relations with your "Step Brother Or Step Sister"?

My friend is currently sleeping with her step brother on the low. Not only is he her step brother, but he is also involved with her good friend..She thinks that she can have relations without the relationship, but we all know that as time goes by feelings start to change. Is it ever okay To become Romantically Involved with a Step Sibling?